Gmaas

Revision as of 19:46, 9 July 2019 by Jaspere3 (talk | contribs) (Gmass->Gmaas)

THEM FACTS ABOUT THE GREAT EPIC AWESOME GMAAS:

Gmaas was here

- The GMATS were supposed to be called the GMAAS, but the manager, gmaas, wanted to eat some gnats. EDIT: Gmaas has stopped eating gnats because they taste bad.

- Gmaas wants every fact to have a pi reference.

- Gmaas owned many memes. Then they died. He left the meme business because others took it over. Gmaas decided to make some more memes after that.

- Gmaas owns Scratch. EDIT: Gmaas sued them because Scratch cat was supposed to be a picture of Gmaas

- Thanos wishes he could be like Gmaas. It's why he got the Infinity Stones and snapped.

- Gmaas dies in Endgame, but he somehow possesses Thanos and kills everyone.

- He hates contemporary music. He only like Renaissance music, Baroque music, Classical music, and Romantic music. EDIT: His only exception is The Legend of Zelda music. EDIT EDIT: Gmaas also likes Debussy.

- Gmaas is superior to you. If you see Gmaas or a picture of the Great Gmaas, bow down. EDIT: It is proper to have a painting or lifesize sculpture of Gmaas. If you do not, Gmaas will put one of them there himself. EDIT EDIT: That is exactly why you should not have a statue of Gmaas: Gmaas will give you one for free.

- Gmaas is known to barf entire universes at will. EDIT: Every once in a while, he barfs a furball, which always turns into a black hole. The less impressive ones turn into neutron stars.

- Gmaas farted and created a false vacuum, but then he burped, destroying the false vacuum.

- Gmaas was the first person to use the Infinity Gauntlet. EDIT: Gmaas created the Infinity Gauntlet and the Infinity Stones. EDIT EDIT: But Thanos stole them after Gmaas died for 0.31415926535 seconds.

- Gmaas killed Thanos with a swat of Gmaas's tail. Gmaas barfed and created a furball, which lead to a new dimension, where he put a newly revived Thanos to become a farmer, when Thor aimed for the head. Gmaas got mad and made him fat.

- Gmaas won an infinite amount of games against AlphaGo and Gary Kasparov while eating dinner.

- Gmaas owns a pet: sseraj. Gmaas likes to play chess with his pets.

- Gmaas is so interesting that an entire science has been devoted to studying him: Gmaasology.

- Gmaas is the only known living being who has a PhD in Gmaasology.

- Most universities, including Harvard, are beginning to offer MAs in Gmaasology.

- Gmaasology is one of the most eminent fields of science, falling behind Physics, Biology, Chemistry, Economics, Geology, and Computer Programming.

- Gmaas wants his AoPS Wiki page to be the longest ever. EDIT: Sadly, the Gmaas page is only the fourth longest page on AoPS wiki. It has around 50,000 bytes. EDIT EDIT: The Gmaas page is getting closer and closer! Gmaas has beaten Primitive Pythagorean Triple and Proofs without words and is the second longest AoPS Wiki page. It now has around 60,000 bytes. However, it will still be a challenger to overcome 2008 iTest Problems, which has around 73,000 bytes. EDIT EDIT EDIT: Gmaas has beaten 2008 iTest Problems! It is the longest AoPS Wiki article ever. Gmaas's article has 89,119 bytes.

- Gmaas has the longest lifespan of any cat. He has lived for 3,141,592,653,589,793,238,462,643,383,279 years. (He is older than the universe.)

- Gmaas is the ancient Greek god of cats and catfish.

- Gmaas can turn things into gold. EDIT: Gmaas can turn anything into anything.

- Gmaas can eat lava. EDIT: Everyone can eat lava once. After you eat it once, you die. EDIT EDIT: Gmaas can eat anything.

- Gmaas's Theorem states that Gmaas knows the answer to any math problem. EDIT: That theorem was proved by Gmaas. EDIT EDIT: Gmaas's Theorem has real world applications: because Gmaas knows the answer to any math problem, you can use Gmaas to solve math problems. Gmaas is busy, so he charges a fee of one dollar for 1,000,000 math problems. EDIT EDIT EDIT: The fee has gone up. It is now 1,000,000 dollars for one math problem. Gmaas's technician made a mistake and reciprocaled the fee.

- Gmaas can only be described as Gmaas. EDIT: Gmaas has an age, but his age changes all the time. Every second his age increases by one second. EDIT EDIT: Gmaas aging is what ages the universe. Without Gmaas, time would not exist.

- Gmaas should be capitalized to show respect. EDIT: It is normal to capitalize people's names.

- The steps to summon Gmaas can be found at Talk:Gmaas.

- Gmaas owns your AoPS account 31.4159265358979323846264338327950288419716939937510582097494459230781640628620899862803482534211706798214808651328230664709384460955058223172535940812848111745028410270193852110555964462294895493038196442881097566593344612847564823378678316527120190914564856692346034861045432664821339360726024914127372458700660631558817488152092096282925409171536436789259036001133053054882046652138414695194151160943305727036575959195309218611738193261179310511854807446237996274956735188575272489122793818301194912% of the time. EDIT: There is an exception to this: Gmaas owns his own account 99.999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999% of the time. The only time when Gmaas did not control his AoPS account was when he had slow internet. For Gmaas, "slow internet" happens when it takes more than a nanosecond to load a webpage. EDIT EDIT: Gmaas owns every AoPS account at some point.

- Everyone, except for me, is Gmaas. EDIT: You are also Gmaas. EDIT EDIT: Gmaas is not me nor you. EDIT EDIT EDIT: Gmaas is in us all and also not in us all. Why? The power of Gmaas.

- Gmaas used to be a dog, but he didn't like to be a dog. So he became a cat.

- Gmaas can be spotted in The Matrix at 31:41:59, metric time.

- The Metropolitan Museum of Art and the Louvre are Gmaas's private art collections from 3:14 AM to 3:15 AM. EDIT: The only exception was on the 3141th day after its opening.

- Gmaas is a Gmaas who is owned by Gmaas who is owned by Gmaas who is owned by Gmaas who is owned by Gmaas who is owned by Gmaas who is owned by Gmaas who is owned by Gmaas who is owned by Gmaas who is owned by Gmaas who is blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.

- Gmaas says hello. EDIT: Gmaas does not speak; he only uses mind signals. Speaking is too primitive for Gmaas.

- For one day, Gmaas was Richard Rusczyk, Gmaas, and David Patrick at the same time. It felt strange, so Gmaas stopped.

- Gmaas, in addition to being the oldest cat in history, the most powerful cat in history, and the most confusing cat in history, is also the largest cat in history.

- Gmaas is dead--he was eaten for lunch. EDIT: The above sentence is incorrect. Gmaas has not sent a gamma ray burst to destroy the planet, which has happened every time someone has eaten Gmaas.

- Gmaas is the creator of the BCPI Ai project.

- Gmaas exists in $2\pi^2$ dimensions because he doesn't like string theory.

- Christmas was actually supposed to be called Gmaasmas.

- $\pi$ is a representation of how many pies Gmaas has eaten. EDIT: The number $\pi$ was created by Gmaas. He took a ten-sided die and flipped it an infinite number of times. The numbers he rolled became the digits of $\pi$.

- $e$ is a representation of how many days Gmaas forgot to eat. EDIT: The number $e$ was created by Gmaas. He took a book that has infinite pages and flipped to a random page. The digits of the page number became digits of $e$. EDIT EDIT: That is impossible. The previous fact would mean that $e$ has a last digit, which it does not. EDIT EDIT EDIT: That is why Gmaas is still flipping to this day. EDIT EDIT EDIT EDIT: Why would he still be doing that? That would be boring. EDIT EDIT EDIT EDIT EDIT: Gmaas is not flipping the book now because he can flip an infinite amount of pages in $\frac{1}{\infty}$ seconds. EDIT EDIT EDIT EDIT EDIT EDIT: Then why isn't he done? EDIT EDIT EDIT EDIT EDIT EDIT EDIT: The power of Gmaas. EDIT EDIT EDIT EDIT EDIT EDIT EDIT EDIT: The editors of the Gmaas article like to make long chains of edits, don't we? EDIT EDIT EDIT EDIT EDIT EDIT EDIT EDIT EDIT: Yes, we do. EDIT EDIT EDIT EDIT EDIT EDIT EDIT EDIT EDIT EDIT: I do too.

- Gmaas is the creator of everything.

- According to recent DNA tests, famous historical people, such as Euclid, Julius Caesar, Omar Khayyam, George Washington, and Ramanujan are actually Gmaas in disguise. EDIT: Gmaas has been thousands of people; only 99.9% of them were important historical figures. EDIT EDIT: They aren't dead. They're still alive. EDIT EDIT EDIT: They are all dead reincarnations of Gmaas. Gmaas only has one reincarnation at a time. He is right now a cat living in sseraj's house.

- Gmaas is a cat. EDIT: How many times do we say this? EDIT EDIT: Very many times. EDIT EDIT EDIT: Gmaas can be anything, but he chooses to be a cat. EDIT EDIT EDIT EDIT: He has been a human dozens of times. In fact, Gmaas painted the Lascaux cave paintings.

- Gmaas has the following powers: trout, carp, earthworm, and catfish. Gmaas never uses any of them because Gmaas has an infinite number of powers. EDIT: Gmaas has used his catfish power several times. EDIT EDIT: Gmaas once used all his powers 3,141,592,653,589,793,238,462,643,383,279 times in 1 second.

- Gmaas was once spotted in minecraft chewing a tree. EDIT: The tree broke. EDIT EDIT: Gmaas once broke a Nokia. EDIT EDIT EDIT: Gmaas can break anything except for Gmaas's logic. It is too strong. EDIT EDIT EDIT EDIT: Gmaas is strong.

- Gmaas was spotted in Roblox eating a tacocat. EDIT: Tacocat is really just what happens when Gmaas sheds. Shedding is annoying for Gmaas, so he sheds no more. Therefore, there are only 271,828,182 tacocats in the world. EDIT EDIT: However, Tacocats reproduce, so they are not in danger of extinction.

- Gmaas would like to go to Taco Bell, but Gmaas goes to Wendy's instead. No one knows why. EDIT: Because Taco Bell doesn't serve tacocats.

- Gmaas real name is Grayson Maas. He is the CEO of AoPS. EDIT: Gmaas's real name is Gmaas. He is not the CEO of AoPS. EDIT EDIT: Gmaas has always been the master of AoPS as he is AoPS.

- Gmaas has a pet pufferfish named Pafferfash. EDIT: He also has a goldfish named Sylgar.

- Gmaas has colonized the universe. EDIT: Gmaas created the universe, so he is allowed to claim control over it. EDIT EDIT: Gmaas created every universe.

- Some people think that Gmaas is a human. However, this has never been proven. Many AoPSers believe Gmaas is a cat. EDIT: Gmaas is a cat. EDIT EDIT: Yeah, we've said that already. EDIT EDIT EDIT: It does not matter how many times we say it; it will always be true. EDIT EDIT EDIT EDIT: Gmaas is a cat. EDIT EDIT EDIT EDIT EDIT: Right now he is a cat, but many of his lives have been other species. EDIT EDIT EDIT EDIT EDIT EDIT: He has been a dog, as said before, but it was too boring.

- Gmaas started pastafarianism. But then converted to Catholicism because Gmaas knows all EDIT: In that religion, one can only eat pasta.

- Gmaas could eat your hand, but he would not because hands taste bad.

- According to the Interuniversal Gmaas Society, 17.548 percent of universe's population thinks that Gmaas is spelled "Gmass". EDIT: In case you don't know already, the name Gmaas is spelled Gmaas. Alternative spellings include GMAAS, gmaas, gmass, Gmass, Gmail, Maas, G. Maas, G. Mass, Gabriel Maas, Genius of Maas, General Maas, Greek Mass, and the big fluffy kitty who lives in sseraj's house. These are no longer accepted spellings, and Gmaas is the current acceptable spelling.

- The Interuniversal Gmaas Society was founded in 1314 on May 9th at 2:06:53 PM. EDIT: Ever since then, Gmaas day has been celebrated on May 9th.

- The Interuniversal Gmaas Society has just reconstruct a lost book about Gmaas from Lucretius's De Rerum Natura. They researched this for three years. EDIT: A few years ago the Society compiled a biography of Gmaas's last twenty lives. EDIT EDIT: The only copies of these biographies are locked in the Gmaasian Library beneath the Library of Congress. EDIT EDIT EDIT: See the Gmaasology page for more information on these projects and others made by the Interuniversal Gmaas Society.

- The Interuniversal Gmaas society has found out all of the information and more. For details on the history of the Interuniversal Gmaas Society, see the Gmaathamatics page.

- Gmaas likes to surprise unsuspecting people.

- Gmaas loves sparkly mechanical pencils. EDIT: Gmaas has eaten several mechanical pencils. EDIT EDIT: He absorbed them and became colorful for 0.271828182846 seconds.

- This page is Gmaas's holy book where people go to worship Gmaas in Maas. EDIT: This is an unusual holy where everyone edits it. EDIT EDIT: That is the point. Gmaas is too lazy to write or to hire someone to write his own holy book, so he lets people write it for free. EDIT EDIT EDIT: Gmaas does not like being called lazy. Our language is simply too unimportant for him to waste time on.

- Gmaas tastes like a furry meatball. EDIT: No one has ever tasted Gmaas's sacred body before. EDIT EDIT: Once, he was a catfish, and someone ate him for dinner. Gmaas was angry and the entire planet exploded. (This was on the planet Demeter. It blew up into so many pieces that the Asteroid Belt was formed. The biggest asteroid in the belt is called Ceres, the Roman version of Demeter, in honor of the lost planet.)

- Gmaas's favorite food is pepperoni pizza. EDIT: Gmaas's favorite food is turnips. EDIT EDIT: Gmaas hates catnip and turnips, and pepperoni. He only likes alien alienish H2So4. EDIT EDIT EDIT: He does love turnips. He has a secret turnip garden under sseraj's house.

- Gmaas is Johnny Johnny's Papa. EDIT: We'll never know. EDIT EDIT: Gmaas caught Johnny Johnny eating sugar and lying. He is Johnny Johnny's Papa.

- Gmaas is in you, and Gmaas is in you, and Gmaas is in me. EDIT: Gmaas is in all cats. EDIT EDIT: He is not in every cat. The Guinness Book of World Records has a cat that does not have any Gmaas. EDIT EDIT EDIT: Gmaas invented The Guinness Book of World Records. EDIT EDIT EDIT EDIT: Gmaas invented the world. EDIT EDIT EDIT EDIT EDIT: Gmaas will also destroy the world.

- Gmaas always remembers not to destroy the universe. EDIT: Once he forgot and had to travel back in time to stop it.

- Gmaas created many user's accounts. EDIT: 3.141592653589793238462643383279502884197169399375105820974944592307816406286208998628034825342117067982148086513282306647093844609550582231725359408128481117450284102701938521105559644622948954930381964428810975665933446128475648233786783165271201909145648566923460348610454326648213393607260249141273724587006606315588174881520920962829254091715364367892590360011330530548820466521384146951941511609433057270365759591953092186117381932611793105118548074462379962749567351885752724891227938183011949129833673362440656643086021394946395224737190702179860943702770539217176293176752384674818467669405132000568127145263560827785771342757789609173637178721468440901224953430146549585371050792279689258923542019956112129021960864034418159813629774771309960518707211349999998372978049951059731732816096318595024459455346908302642522308253344685035261931188171010003137838752886587533208381420617177669147303598253490428755468731159562863882353787593751957781857780532171226806613001927876611195909216420198938095257201065485863278865936153381827968230301952035301852968995773622599413891249721775283479131515574857242454150695950829533116861727855889075098381754637464939319255060400927701671139009848824012858361603563707660104710181942955596198946767837449448255379774726847104047534646208046684259069491293313677028989152104752162056966024058% of accounts on AoPS are Gmaas in disguise.

- Gmaas is both living and nonliving. EDIT: He is living 90% of the time. Every once in a while he wants to take a break and dies.

- Gmaas is quasiomnipotent. He cannot comprehend the stupidity of humans.

- All hail the Gmaas cloud! EDIT: Gmaas is a cloud: a cloud of electrons and nuclei.

- Some things are beyond possible human comprehension. Nothing is beyond Gmaas. EDIT: The only thing beyond Gmaas is his tail; he has never managed to eat it. EDIT EDIT: Once he ate it. It tasted bad, so he didn't ever eat it again.

- Gmaas eats food and resides at King Arthur's throne when he feels like it. EDIT: King Arthur is dead. However, Welsh folk stories say that he will come back if the Welsh people are in trouble. EDIT EDIT: King Arthur lives on paper flour bags. He came back when the Welsh people didn't have enough bread.

- Gmaas owns a rabbit. EDIT: Gmaas ate it on March 19, 2019. It reincarnated on the other side of the planet. EDIT EDIT: Gmaas ate it again on April 31, 2019.

- Gmaas is both singular and plural. EDIT: It is usually singular. EDIT EDIT: The plural of Gmaas in English and in Latin is Gmaases. (Gmaas is a third declension noun: Gmaas, Gmaasis, m.)

- Gmaas eats disbelievers as if they were donuts for breakfast. (Yet I'm somehow still alive. Do you think Gmaas actually ate my soul?) EDIT: Yes, I do. Gmaas is just typing through your account. EDIT EDIT: Gmaas typed through everyone's account. EDIT EDIT EDIT: Gmaas owns most AoPSers, including me. So that's why I'm typing.

- Gmaas knows Jon Snow's parents. EDIT: Gmaas was Jon Snow's parents for 0.3141592653589793238 seconds, but it felt weird. So he became Gmaas again.

- All Gmaas article editors will be escorted to Gmaas heaven after they die. EDIT: I hope so because I edited this article.

- Gmaas won all the wars. EDIT: He did not win the Intergmaasian War, which was between Gmaas's head and his tail. His tail won. Two flees died in the war.

- Gmail was named after Gmaas. EDIT: Google was named after Gmaas. EDIT EDIT: Almost every word starting with G is named after Gmaas.

- Gmaas knows Cthulhu on a personal level. EDIT: Gmaas created Cthulhu EDIT EDIT: Gmaas was Cthulhu for 0.314159265358979323846264338327950288419716939937510 seconds, but it felt weird, so he stopped.

- Gmaas has created many things, and he created the three deathly hallows. He then got mad at the people who got the hallows, and tried to take them back. EDIT: Gmaas left the owner of the Invisibility Cloak alone, as he didn't do anything dangerous. EDIT EDIT: Gmaas was Dumbledore.


Now Wuuuuut!

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