Y by thatmathgeek, mathwizard888, librian2000, Wiggle Wam, champion999, DeathLlama9, 62861, whatshisbucket, amplreneo, Flash12, jh235, thequantumguy, Einsteinhead, Wave-Particle, Eugenis, hwl0304, katmcphie, ThisIsASentence, 15Pandabears, Mathaddict11, spartan168, DivideBy0, Alnitak, Einstein314, sonicmouse37, dantx5, muti66, ingenio, Mudkipswims42, HVishy, Sun13, Th3Numb3rThr33, david2006322, mathmaster2012, rkm0959, dhusb45, AMC_Kid, Plasma_Vortex, TheOneYouWant, aops777, jdeaks1000, ac_math, AstroCarp, Ultroid999OCPN, StavMath, Subh108, mathleticguyyy, OlympusHero, rayfish, Adventure10, Mango247
Hey all...
I typically don't make threads like this but I'm in a desperate situation. For the past year, I've studied extremely intensely for the AMCs and now the AMCs are just around the corner. To be honest, I've never felt this motivated in my life before. I've devoted every awake hour of my winter break to math. However, as winter break ended for my school, something changed.
For the majority of last semester, I was a straight-A student. I made a groove of balancing school and math. I was a top student in my APUSH class. However, as the semester began wrapping up, the pressure to 4.0 closed in on me like a thick blanket. Suddenly, everything changed when I bombed this heavy-weighted APUSH test and my grade dropped to an A-. To cap it off, my APUSH and bio teachers are extremely hard graders and for the end of last semester, I had to stop doing any kind of math in order to study for the APUSH finals. I studied 10+ hours a day for 2 consecutive weeks for the APUSH finals. I went through every kind of prep possible in order to get the grade I felt I deserved. I went to extents like drinking bottle after bottle of coffee at night to stay awake. I isolated myself, because my dream is to make a top college and I felt the pressure to get a 4.0. I lived and breathed the phrase "4.0 or DIE" everyday up until the exam. After taking the final exam, I suffered an emotional roller coaster. Now that winter break is over for my school, I got my exam score back -- a B (below class average). Some of my friends got A's and my life completely crashed.
1) Some of my friends, who didn't study at all, ended up getting the same scores as me.
2) Looking over the impenetrable prep I did, I have absolutely no clue what I could've done better (and if it's even practically possible).
3) Worse, I felt like the time I wasted could've been devoted to AMC prep. Why would I even care who attended the Treaty of Paris, who Aaron Burr was, or the parties of the 1832 election, say.
I felt that my mind began to rot in class: practicing an instrument I will put down sooner or later, memorizing dates and historical facts that are no more important than a grade on a paper, learning the functions of lipids, say, or recounting what happened in the Crucible say. My point is, all this junk that has been overwhelming me physically and mentally have taken away my opportunities to do what I'm passionate about. The physics and math books at my home began accumulating dust.
Now that the AMCs are around the corner, it's a wonder I'm still breathing by sleeping 3 hours a day and drinking red bulls all night long. However, my math prep efficiency is lowering as a result, and at one point this past week I decided: Screw it. There is absolutely no point in school. So I stopped doing my homework, stopped listening in class, stopped going to class (twice so far). And yet, ever since middle school, the expectations of my parents and myself have ingrained in me the importance of the letter on my exam paper, of going to school and maintaining a good impression of myself. This contradiction is what may have led to my depression.
To top it off, I failed the PSAT -- which I spent countless hours on this year. And worse, all of this happened right before the AMCs.
I've been studying about 6-7 hours of math a day so far this new semester, and the harder I study, the greater the pang in my heart is -- whenever I check my gradebook.
Finally, I'm already one of the best at math in my school. No one understands me. No one knows how important JMO is to me. No one knows the trouble I'm going through. My friends are isolating me. My pregnant stepmom needs to be taken care of so I spend very little time with my family.
Even when I went to talk to my counselor all he keeps on saying is how an A- is an excellent grade for APUSH and how I should be complacent.
I've cried multiple times this past week and I don't know what to do. I love AoPS and knowing that there exists people online who can sympathize with me is the sole reason I can pull through school day after day.
Any advice from you guys would help me so much. As of this moment as I'm typing this I'm hiding in my school's bathroom because all my self-esteem is gone. Please tell me what I should do...
I typically don't make threads like this but I'm in a desperate situation. For the past year, I've studied extremely intensely for the AMCs and now the AMCs are just around the corner. To be honest, I've never felt this motivated in my life before. I've devoted every awake hour of my winter break to math. However, as winter break ended for my school, something changed.
For the majority of last semester, I was a straight-A student. I made a groove of balancing school and math. I was a top student in my APUSH class. However, as the semester began wrapping up, the pressure to 4.0 closed in on me like a thick blanket. Suddenly, everything changed when I bombed this heavy-weighted APUSH test and my grade dropped to an A-. To cap it off, my APUSH and bio teachers are extremely hard graders and for the end of last semester, I had to stop doing any kind of math in order to study for the APUSH finals. I studied 10+ hours a day for 2 consecutive weeks for the APUSH finals. I went through every kind of prep possible in order to get the grade I felt I deserved. I went to extents like drinking bottle after bottle of coffee at night to stay awake. I isolated myself, because my dream is to make a top college and I felt the pressure to get a 4.0. I lived and breathed the phrase "4.0 or DIE" everyday up until the exam. After taking the final exam, I suffered an emotional roller coaster. Now that winter break is over for my school, I got my exam score back -- a B (below class average). Some of my friends got A's and my life completely crashed.
1) Some of my friends, who didn't study at all, ended up getting the same scores as me.
2) Looking over the impenetrable prep I did, I have absolutely no clue what I could've done better (and if it's even practically possible).
3) Worse, I felt like the time I wasted could've been devoted to AMC prep. Why would I even care who attended the Treaty of Paris, who Aaron Burr was, or the parties of the 1832 election, say.
I felt that my mind began to rot in class: practicing an instrument I will put down sooner or later, memorizing dates and historical facts that are no more important than a grade on a paper, learning the functions of lipids, say, or recounting what happened in the Crucible say. My point is, all this junk that has been overwhelming me physically and mentally have taken away my opportunities to do what I'm passionate about. The physics and math books at my home began accumulating dust.
Now that the AMCs are around the corner, it's a wonder I'm still breathing by sleeping 3 hours a day and drinking red bulls all night long. However, my math prep efficiency is lowering as a result, and at one point this past week I decided: Screw it. There is absolutely no point in school. So I stopped doing my homework, stopped listening in class, stopped going to class (twice so far). And yet, ever since middle school, the expectations of my parents and myself have ingrained in me the importance of the letter on my exam paper, of going to school and maintaining a good impression of myself. This contradiction is what may have led to my depression.
To top it off, I failed the PSAT -- which I spent countless hours on this year. And worse, all of this happened right before the AMCs.
I've been studying about 6-7 hours of math a day so far this new semester, and the harder I study, the greater the pang in my heart is -- whenever I check my gradebook.
Finally, I'm already one of the best at math in my school. No one understands me. No one knows how important JMO is to me. No one knows the trouble I'm going through. My friends are isolating me. My pregnant stepmom needs to be taken care of so I spend very little time with my family.
Even when I went to talk to my counselor all he keeps on saying is how an A- is an excellent grade for APUSH and how I should be complacent.
I've cried multiple times this past week and I don't know what to do. I love AoPS and knowing that there exists people online who can sympathize with me is the sole reason I can pull through school day after day.
Any advice from you guys would help me so much. As of this moment as I'm typing this I'm hiding in my school's bathroom because all my self-esteem is gone. Please tell me what I should do...
This post has been edited 1 time. Last edited by shiningsunnyday, Jan 14, 2016, 6:37 AM