Failure.
That's it. This year was one hail of a failure. And you know what, it'll be alright. As copied and pasted from a quote sent to the NC math server yesterday, "It'll turn out fine in the end, just like it always did."

Reflection on goals from last year and my predicted probabilities:
"Get all As(90% chance)"
-Alrighty. We're 1 for 1 (this is assuming I don't bomb my finals, which were all trivial)

"Get all As on tests(40% chance)"
-Nope. We're 1 for 2. Fysics rocked me.

"Don't go to bed past 12 AM(20% chance)"
-Haha. I literally stayed up till 2:34 last night.

"Go to social events(50% chance)"
-I suck at 50-50s apparently. We're 1 for 4.

"Get a life(this is a half-joke. 75% chance?)"
-Nope. 1 for 5. Wow.

"Make some new friends(I'd say roughly 80% chance because of the new freshies)"
-Yep! Except none of them are from school! 2 for 6!

"Get some teachers to like me(platonically ofc, but roughly 90% chance because I'm trying to be very good this year)"
-Definitely improved from last year, but work to be done. I got my math teacher to hopefully like me, so 3 for 7.


As I write this listening to this beautiful playlist, I can't help but think about how short I've come. I haven't improved much in anything. But, "It'll turn out fine in the end, just like it always did." It will. The trustium must work. I think my goals for last year were not very feasible, so I intend to make more achievable goals this year.

GOALS:

1. All A's (This is self-explanatory. 90%)
2. 1560+ SAT (Uhh... 20%. I can't read.)
3. Attend HoCo (I swear to freaking god)
4. Finish reading the Ecology section of Campbell
5. Spam DD tests until I get good at it (thanks CL from wwpn for giving me a list of good tests)
6. Make State Math Finals (Oh yikes... This might be very nontrivial)
7. Make Enloe A team (This is essentially given (hopefully?) but I need to work for it obv)
8. Make SciOly varsity (WE ARE GOING TO LOCK TF IN)
9. Start researching maybe? (I have no idea. This is very tentative and I don't know how to research/how professor or anything... ISEF seemed like fun according to WFeng's yap sessions and getting chased by a random in NYC)
10. Have fun in swimming
11. Get recruited in swimming (0.1% chance)
12. Bench my own BW (I can already deadlift and squat 2x my BW, so hopefully my bench can get halfway there)
13. Make AIME (20%. I have serious doubts about my own abilities. How to math?!)
14. Go to HMMT (This may be nontrivial because we didn't receive an automatic bid since not T30 this year.)

All of these aspirations... I can't wait to see them all get shattered come next year.
this will definitely get relegated back to the spam blog