bruh roid rage is actually hella annoying
I get pissed at the smallest things and have crazy mood swings its like I have periods :sob:
my thoughts are all jumbled and I don't know what the future is gonna be like
I think its one of my medication causing me to be depressed so I'm gonna stop that lol I actually can not take this level of depression it feels like everything hates me and I cant describe it
I don't even know whats going on in my head

also I have no motivation to do anything?? like I don't want to do anything productive or even anything non productive cause I just look at it and thing "whats the point" so hopefully that gets better cause life is hell rn
not much else going on in life rn
I've found that playing clair de lune while staring at nature is extremely calming but I've just started trying to learn it yesterday and sightreading with 5 flats and a bunch of chords is never not going to be annoying for me
so the calmness is kind of counteracted and then i stub my toe while trying to get water and i hate life again

so that's basically my life rn uhh sorry for two depressing posts in a row all this is probably medication-caused so im fine don't worry
thanks for reading bye!