Looking back at my list of goals... I realize now that maybe they were a bit too.. lofty. To be honest, this year has essentially been a jump from disappointment to disappointment. I'm going to use this blog to vent

Math:

I was hoping to place in PUMaC. Not only did this not happen, I didn't even make it to finals or place in a subject, making my performance a lot worse than last year.

I was hoping to make HMIC - instead, I utterly failed HMMT, ranking MUCH lower than last year, not making HMIC (again), and not even placing top 50 in any of the subjects.

I wanted to finally get an A on the AIME - instead, I showed no improvement for the second year in a row.

Onto more serious stuff...

I harbored wild hopes of making the US IMO team this year - my 2014 USAMO score made me too confident. I not only can't make the IMO team now, but my miserable TST scores have made me question whether I deserved to make MOP in the first place.

I wanted to at least make the RMM team - but because of my bad performance on the TSTST, that dream was crushed.

As a last resort, a final chance to representing the US SOMEWHERE, I wanted my score to count for the APMO. To get a HM in the US, one apparently needed a 27 - I got a 26.

USAMO is coming up soon, and to be honest, I'm not too excited. It's clear that either I'm just not on my game, or my performance last year was a fluke.

Debate:

I thought my partner and I had a good chance of winning state (we were seeded 2nd in state before the competition and after the pre-elimination rounds where we went 8-2, we were seeded 3rd). We lost on a 3-0 in our first elim round.

College:

I really don't want to sound arrogant here, so I hope I just come off as naive. As a preface, I want to say that I'll be attending MIT next year and that it's an amazing opportunity I'm definitely not complaining about. However, I (stupidly, as it seems) really, really thought I would do better in college admissions. I don't wanna turn this blog into college confidential, but I had Blue MOP/TST/USAMO HM, I had qualification to the TOC and NFL in debate, I had perfect test scores and near-perfect grades, I played multiple sports, I had club leadership, I had essays that I hope were at least ok. I know admissions are very unpredictable, but being rejected over and over felt kind of... awful.