-when you want to write but deciding what appears in the preview is so nerve-wracking . . .
aye I successfully wrote something up there^ XP

music

I should really blog more. Earlier today I was thinking about how I can go through my blog and re-live good times from years and years ago. I realized that there are a lot of memories missing from my senior year (and even junior year)
Pretty much all of the "good times" are swim team related. I still have a few months of swim team, since I can go to practice until I go to college in September (and I can even come back next summer and race in the meets if I'm available). However, I'm already dreading the day I won't be able to go to swim team, to even look forward to practice. I have this problem everywhere in life. For the summer camp that I've been going to every summer (darn this is my last year for that too), I'm always sad before it even starts. The camp runs from Sunday to Saturday, but even before I get to camp, I'm sad that I'm going to have to go home on Saturday. Thankfully, I don't carry this attitude throughout the whole week, but occasionally it'll creep up on me and ruin the moment.
When I think about it, it's really weird, but knowing my personality, it makes sense. I'm afraid of a lot of things, like the dark and tight spaces, but I'm also afraid of good things coming to an end. I guess it's an irrational fear (technically every fear is lol), but like with any fear, it's super real and has real effects on me. In many ways, it's actually more sadness than fear. My swim team has been a second home (in my mind it's actually my first home) in my life, and leaving it is gonna be super hard. I keep telling myself that I'll be able to visit a lot (which is true; I hope XP) and maybe even eventually come back and work there and spend even more time. I keep thinking that I have lots of more time here. This isn't necessarily a problem, but I guess I just haven't completely grown up yet. Eventually all my friends (80% of the reason I don't wanna leave) are gonna grow up and leave too, so obviously an infinite life of swim team isn't possible, or even having the friend group. I don't think about this as much, but some of these people I might not ever talk to again, especially the younger kids. Even the other high schoolers I might never talk to again.
At least a few people at my swim team are gonna be in heaven (as of now; I can't be 100% sure but I think so) and I can only pray that God has good plans for all of them. But even if all of them go to heaven, are we all really gonna swim together in heaven? idk but I can wish.
darn I'm so sad [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] []

Yesterday (Saturday) was our practice meet. It was my last practice meet, since practice meets are always in the beginning of June and I probably won't be able to make it back at that time from college. Practice meets are always fun cuz we have a potluck and we get to spend a lot of time hanging out and talking [and eating!]. For some reason C had me swim fly and IM (and FR is a given). derp but my brother and I swam with E in the BR (cuz he was otherwise swimming by himself) and I totally fudged it up since I thought we were doing a 50. I still feel bad about that. Sorry E.

This practice meet was super hype though, cuz we talked to T about how to get grills even though we're just a bunch of salty single guys. I also had a great conversation with J (yea same guy from like 2 or 3 years ago with me and K in the rain doing dryland - i don't even know where that post is I'll have to find it) about being sincere or being different around different people.

Later, I walked with some middle schoolers to 7 eleven. I forgot to bring money to the meet so I was just going for fun, but everyone else got slurpees (my recommendation) and I was able to get a few sips. I was kinda bored so I recorded the whole trip on my phone, starting from when we got inside 7 eleven all the way until we got back. Apparently it takes almost 10 minutes to walk there (we originally thought it was around 5). When we got back yesterday I uploaded the trip to YouTube; gl finding the videos
Since uploading a 20 minute video from an iPhone onto YouTube would take too long, I split the whole thing into 6 parts. The 6th part is still on my phone and not YouTube because every time I try to upload, I get the "sharing was interrupted" message. Apparently that means there's too much traffic on our internet, but I've tried it at least 10 times, and when no one else was using internet at our house, but it still doesn't work. I tried it again at church this morning but it didn't work there either. . . -__- Tomorrow (eh probably not gonna happen) I'm gonna get the video onto my computer and try it from there. I really hope it works, cuz the 6th part (IMO) is the best one lol.

Practice meets are special because the potluck; other meets don't have a potluck at the end. At least we still get to hangout for a few hours.

Wow there's actually a ton of stuff I could write about. I should really try to get in the habit of blogging again.
darn I need to decide which orientation days to go to.

I might actually post some pictures from Africa, probably not of myself though -just scenery and animals and whatnot.

Does anyone play Dota 2?

I actually started this post with the intent to make another one of those "music taste" posts, but I guess that will have to wait till another day.

EDIT like 2 minutes later: oh yea and GC started again! I probably won't win another one (even though it would be cool to be the first person to win 2 GC games), and I'm already off to a shaky start derp