yeah.. so in the past 2 years or so my sleep schedule has slowly gone down hill
for the past week ive been falling asleep past 4 am
and during school i need to wake up at 7 am every day
and i cant survive on 3 hours of sleep, especially if i wanna do well and be productive during school
most of the time i was just on youtube for hours and it isnt healthy
at the end of the day, me getting a good nights sleep would improve my life so much lol so i just want to be able to sleep around midnight on school nights
it isnt the best time to be sleeping but its already an improvement

so last year
like for 95% of percent of the year i ended up doing my homework at around midnight
and it kinda messed me up
and it isnt productive at all cuz after school id just sleep for 3 hours and then eat snacks for another hour and then watch youtube
i wasnt that big on homework so id just speedrun it in the middle of the night
not a good idea
i wanna be able to get all my homework done right after school so i can spend more time sleeping and doing fun stuff instead of just wasting time

i need to put less pressure on myself
a combination of procrastinating and being a perfectionist is a deadly combo for me
i ended up like making myself break down multiple timese because of the fact that i got a 98% on a test
im not tryna brag, but i got all 100s for my final grades in all my classes in 7th grade, and i know that 8th grade will probably be way more difficult
and i need to lower my standards for myself
i kinda wish i knew how to fail more because i wouldnt be so stressed about always getting 100% PLUS extra credit in all my classes
i distinctly remember crying because i got a 99.5% average in social studies even though i knew it wasnt one of my strongest subjects
and i want to be able to look at a 95% final grade next year and be like
yeah i did well
instead of "bruh im such a failure i used to be able to get 100 on everything and now i cant anymore"

over the summer i went to taiwan for a whole month
and every day we were out travelling and eating and stuff
and i never got time to practice viola
so since ive gotten back to the states, ive found myself losing motivation to practice and learn new pieces or songs
im also in the process of finding a new viola teacher, meaning that i dont have any music from teachers to learn either
when i get back into practicing orchestra music, i hope i can get that passion for music i had before summer break
i hope im not too rusty lol

well i have viola
and i have kendo
and i have aops blogging
but im not like 100% completely committed to any of them kind of like how some people dedicate their whole life to drawing or music or sports or something
i wanna find something that i can be doing 24/7
whether its training even harder in kendo or learning better css or tryna get more advanced playing viola
but i just wanna find something since all my friends have something they like doing

idk i kinda feel like
last year i wasnt as confident as i thought i was
i dont really wanna be that kid thats either weird, tired, or sad
i wanna be happier this year i guess lol
cuz at the end of 7th grade i kinda ended up "receeding" and hiding from everyone else
and during our activity time i just hid in the music rooms lol
so i wanna get like a solid friend group since my old one kinda fell apart for reasons and my 8th grade friends are in high school now
and then once i get a friend group i can like talk to them and stuff and be a kid ig

1. eat healthier
2. maybe join mathcounts or smth like that
3. join band possibly?
4. reconnect with my friends that are in the grade below me (addys grade)
5. at least find SOMETHING good about all my teachers, no matter how much everyone else hates them
6. dont be overwhelmed by drama again
7. stop being the weird kid
8. keep posting on da bloggo
9. get a life

haha L u really thought i was gonna talk about my "love life"
ofc not
i know i overshare on this blog
but im not about to go THAT deep
especially since my classmates have access to my blog lol
maybe next time hehe