He is a junior from [insert city name] of [insert state name] (he prefers private info to be anonymous).
He is a mathlete, a physgeek.
Standing at 5 ft 9, he brings to the game a dynamic mix of problem-solving tools.
He's got a highly-impressive arsenal of weapons, such as calculus bashing, he's sure to strike sphere into any problem which opposes him. He can demolish anything in his radius when he's on all cylinders. Apart from being a devoted mathlete, his outstanding passion has allowed him to run a successful physics club, full of potential energy, allowing him to be "kinetic" with problem-solving communities. He's full of ideas, never at a moment of inertia. He gets his sines right half the time, and his role to this blog as a contributor will be Taylor-ed specifically to the readers' needs, "series"ly.

From [insert name of high school], let's bring a round of applause, to this blog's first contributor...

Santa.................. DRAGON!!!

More seriously

Finally, for those reading my blog, be sure to check out his blog (SantaDragon's Presents). It's a fantastic blog that really deserves more attention.