My flight to LA is in less than 48 hours, which gives me an excuse to stay up all night tonight to watch Girls Generation (for jet lag purposes). Also, my grandma just got pancreas surgery today (6 hours on the operating desk...), and I'm going to visit her as well as my brother tomorrow for the last time before I leave.

It's a combination of anxiety and excitement, to say the least -- excited because my trip to US marks the end of my insanely-strict summer diet. No more boiled vegetables. No more porridge and potatoes for breakfast every morning, 7 days a week. I'm planning on going to hometown buffet, a lobster/steakhouse, pho restaurant at least twice, and In-n-Out in LA. I'm just staying there for 3 days, before flying to Seattle for AMSP. My birth mom, will, as she does every summer, drive down from the bay area to visit me for a day or two. I won't say much about her; my feelings of frustration towards her leaving me and my dad have long expired. I'm just thankful I have someone to love me and cares about me; that's all.

As for AMSP, I'm just ready to work. After not getting out nearly as much as I wanted to last summer, I definitely need to be more proactive this time -- not being afraid to ask stupid questions in class and to the TA and teacher, and taking advantage of breaks/office hours, and actively working on the problem sets. Last summer I remember burning out a bit after week 1, which might be even a bigger concern this time since I'm taking Geo 3 and Combo 3, the former of which I feel (not really) confident about with my prep (consisting of 106, EGMO, and Oly Geo), and the latter of which I'm a bit shaky on (though I'm really close to mastering Interm CP). Oly Geo and Interm NT will be on-going classes during camp. How I will manage to stay locked in throughout camp is still extremely questionable, but being the competitive person I am I feel really motivated because the stakes are esp. high on me, since I'm one of the oldest there, and this upcoming year, my junior year, is going to be USAMO-or-bust due to my much-delayed start on competitions.

As for the social aspect of camp, I'm a bit awkward in general around people my age or under. When I try to act funny in front of boys, they get annoyed or leave me cause of my weirdness and terrible puns, and I should mention... When I try to talk to girls, I always feel my protruding belly fat the subject of scrutiny, which leads to me shying off and walking awkwardly to try to evade her before I even start to generate a pick up line. However, I do feel some signs of improvement this summer, esp. with my 1-2 hours spent at the court everyday and 1+ hours spent on my treadmill at night. I've lost around 5 KG since the beginning of summer, and more than 10 KG compared to last summer. For example, after balling for about an hour this afternoon, I took off my sweat-drenched shirt, playing upper-body-exposed for the first time ever for about 30 mins, much to the interest of nearby construction workers and passer-by's. While I did have to succumb to lifting up my diaphragm in attempt to contract some of my fat, it was still an exhilarating feeling and an expression of long-sought-after self-confidence. Being the subject of many eyes on my walk back, it was only fitting that I listened to **** and I Know It on my earphones as I walked home.

Hopefully, this confidence would last throughout the next year, but who knows how quickly my fat will bounce back....

Anyways, that's it for now, now time for a night of GIRLS' GENERATION, WOOOOOOHOOOOOOO.