What's funny is that USAMO is next week - my proctor is still turning over in her head the fact she has agreed to sacrifice two nights of sleep to watch a fat nerd furiously scribbling away on paper for 9 hours, a show you can't miss.

I've also kinda stopped sleeping these days - I'm about midway adjusting to pacific time (I typically sleep from after dinner to 10 PM before doing homework/math the rest of the night). The calm of the ungodly hours of the night has returned from last semester - it's very peaceful and beautiful... until the hilarious times when I have to leave my hotel room (did I mention this before?) to get some food/caffeine at the store at 3 AM and the girl at the hotel front desk gives me a lunatic look every time I pass.

Quite frankly, I'm not too concerned with the result - if I get my butt swept, I'll laugh and learn to be thankful for making it here in the first place, and move on. If I get two problems, I'll be satisfied and move on. If I get MOP, I'll be thrilled and start researching into what clothes I should buy to attract the girls at CMU. At the end of the day, it's the joy of exploring mathematical ideas that's important - everything else (scores, honors, technicalities) serve their purposes but really are just distractions.

As I reflect, I've come quite a long way since last year.

Not just in accomplishments - but in terms of how I think and deal with situations. Last year, I was really upset at how static everything is at my school (everyone with fixed mindsets, repeating the same tasks everyday, etc.). This year, I realized I should just be thankful of USAMO + ISEF, opportunities I sought out for me to be myself and connect with like-minded peers. What I saw as extremely stressful and negative last year are more funny and positive in nature this year - and I've learned to let challenges, opposition, etc. things that I disagree with, roll off of me so I can focus on developing myself to be who I want to be - which is what's truly important. At school, I'm now more appreciative of the more accepting people - who I now feel very comfortable with. I'm also more comfortable with haters/judgers - after all, I can't thank them enough; they not only give me more insight into the world but also they've made me so much stronger over the past year.

I think the prevailing impressions of those who hear about me from others are for the most part misguided - it's shocking how deeply-rooted stereotypes is in our society. Those who get to know me, on the other hand, actually (I think) see me as genuine and perhaps as interesting. One of my closest friends here, for example, likes doing work with me late after school in the library. As we're both kind of misfits, I like to play aloud my Kpop and he likes to play aloud his communist songs while working and we both don't judge - it's nice having these peers.

For another, I met the USAMO girl yesterday who's really nice. Hoping to hang out with her, esp. after ISEF and everything.

Ok time to math now.