AMSP Last Day + Reflection
by shiningsunnyday, Aug 8, 2016, 11:20 PM
7: 45 AM. Same crystal ringtone on my cellphone. Same sound of my roommate getting off his bed and telling me to turn off the alarm. Saying hi to the same people in the bathroom, walking to the cafeteria for breakfast in the same manner. One last time. I saw A again, and stared straight at her, to see if she bites. No? Ok. Never mind then...
In Combo 3, we did the Probabilistic Method, but I was honestly too sentimental for math. I made some jokes with John and eed7573 (darn I didn't get to say goodbye to you two) extremely nice guys I've come to know really well, as well as attempt to look attentive as pinetree1 diligently tries to communicate his progress on the problems to me. Yan and Kiril, the two Europeans, were telling each other jokes. Since we were talking about the usage of darn, here's my two cents:
Then they bursted out laughing including my crazy roommate. I'll definitely miss the courage to tell jokes without being judged. Then was picture time. I took some photos, including with Vlad and the TA, as well as the other students.
Before long, we rushed to Geo 3, and Wolstenhome and Earthwarrior1 presented some of their favorite problems as well as a few magic tricks, one involving cutting a wood pencil with a dollar bill (a trick my roommate fanatically attempted to learn). But I was honestly too sentimental to learn. We had taken pictures the day prior, so we just chilled mostly. I made quite a lot of friends in Geo 3 as well. It was an amazing class, truly.
One unforgettable observation I made at AMSP is the concept of the classes. In school, a class is an obligatory block of time you must devote everyday of your life to in exchange for a grade at the end of each semester that misleadingly leads you to believe it's a piece of your self-worth. Here, a class is a chance to learn something new and better your problem solving skills, to be able to communicate with your peers questions like "Oh wow! How did you motivate this beautiful inversion about this point?" As opposed to "so what do I have to memorize for the test, also, is it summarize or formative." People at AMSP, which is an extremely self-motivated camp, do problems at night for the sake of the math, not for anything else. A test is an opportunity to do interesting problems and test your skills, not a connotation of late-night cramming and forgetting everything immediately afterwards, nor is it a letter on your college transcript that countless students across the nation worship like God.
I ate lunch as normal, Dyang and bguo came over and asked me for access to my blog, which I said was under revision due to some inappropriate content. Then I saw dolphin8pi talk to them, and learned that she (roommate of Angela) has read my blog apparently. REST. IN. PEACE. MY. REPUTATION. IN. FRONT. OF. GIRLS. Sorry dolphin8pi, don't hate me.
After lunch was a quiet time, with me going to Daniel/Bruce, Fishy/Steven's, Liu/Andy's rooms and fooling around, one last time. I attempted to sleep a while in preparation for the all-nighter. I attempted to learn some dance moves from Steven, who taught me a MJ hat trick. Oh well, gotta warm up those dance moves for the dance party. I also got my box (course notes and yearbook and letter).
After dinner, we went back to our rooms, and I attempted to read Steven's Secrets in Inequalities as they packed. I'm the worst organizer, so in attempt to be productive, decided to throw in all my clothes (dirty or clean) into the washer (I was too lazy to sort out the clean shirts)... YOLO. Unfortunately, my shirt was still wet by the time for AMSP photo time, so I stood freezing in the open waiting for the picture. My RA, Iuri, as always, is late and can't be found, while Liu, as always, was nowhere to be seen. At the last second, they both arrived, and we attempted to look muscular in the picture. On the way back, A, B, C all appeared and started talking to Daniel and Liu, the girls' slayer of the group. I couldn't join in to their inside conversations, and... and... just ran away (I've done this quite a few times this camp in front of A, B, C, actually).
Andy then brought up a random number theory AIME problem in the dorm, and my crazy roommate, Fishy, Steven, Andy, and I attempted for a long time before solving it via bash. I was in no mood to hit the paper, cause Steven and I were about to hit the dance floor. My crazy roommate entered nerd mode this point, so Steven and I went to the dance, and upon realizing how awkward and crappy it was, I left with flash12, two of the basketball kids named Henry and Bryan to the gym (it was open for the cheerleading camp, and because no cheerleaders were there, we YOLO). We played for more than half an hour, and we said goodbye to Henry for good, and at around that point 50 cheerleaders stormed into the gym for some activity. We ran for our lives, and after a perilous navigation through the sea of cheerleaders, finally escaped. Back at the dance floor, I first saw a couple (actually the only one) dancing at the side awkwardly, and Yan was swing dancing the heck out of this random girl (he swung dance practically all the girls there). The rest stood awkwardly, and what broke the awkwardness was RA Brendon starting to dance. I joined in the fun, and being the attention-seeker I sometimes am (OOPS
) attempted to look cool dancing. It was crazy.
I kept dancing for 2 hours - with people I know, with people I don't. I slow-danced with agbdmrbirdyface and Steven as well as random people. At one point Steven almost killed me by bulldozing his way to 2 decent looking girls and shoving me towards them. I didn't want to die of a heart attack on the spot, so I ran away and watched Steven dance with one of them. 3pro5me.
Nevertheless, I completely tossed away my comfort zone. I felt like dancing was a mean of self-expression like I've never known before. I would've never dreamed of having the self-confidence of dancing in the midst of a crowd like this and not feeling being judged. But this camp has truly bound me with other campers. I realized that these are the kind of people, people who share the same passion as me, who have the same values as me, that I want to hang out with in college.
Eventually at some point the dance was over, and I just stayed behind and said goodbye to some people there such as Yan (thanks for being there from the start when I needed someone to discuss the problems with), Kiril (same, now go make Bulgarian IMO next year!), adik7 (keep geo'ing and balling, stay in contact), Harvard (darn your hugs feel good), Bryan (thanks for balling win me, it was fun for me to guard you all the time), Brian (birdyface, great knowing you, and remember to keep contrib'ing to my other blog!), and many others. The way back, I guess I was still in the clouds, and I was talking to agbdmrbirdyface and someone else. I spotted 3 girls ahead, and thinking I will most likely never see them again after camp ends, decided to YOLO.
Then I went to check out what the scrubs who didn't go dancing were doing - poker. Then I went downstairs to reflect a bit. Everything's going by so fast, people are already getting ready to leave...
Flash12 and bigboss then appeared and we gave goodbye hugs (though we would see again).
The night appears ready for a party, as the entire RA group got into Daniel's room and Iuri once again snuck out against the rules to buy us food. We proceeded to play truth and dare, which involved discussions of interesting topics: our values and our aspirations, etc. of course, we also gossiped like girls and talked about stuff EXTREMELY RESTRICTED TO GUYS. We exchanged stories and laughs, but at 2 AM the first dreadful moment comes, the departure of Iuri, our amazing RA. Thank you Iuri for your nonstop smile, your dedication to making sure the whole RA group goes to breakfast together everyday, for telling jokes and acting immature, for notifying us of the night watch, for allowing us to sneak in to your room at 12 the night before and having a pizza party, for guarding me on the basketball court and treating me like an equal. Thank you! Iuri gave each person a hug, and that's that...
After some more talk, Steven and Fishy decided to retire for 2 hours. We agreed to send off the next departure, Andy and Liu, at 5 AM together. I stayed in with half of the group in Daniel's room and we semi slept/watched Max cube/talked/watched Nigahiga.
At 4, we snuck flash12 and bigboss into our room, and we chilled. I tuned out of their conversation about colleges, and instead cuddled with Daniel.
I took a shower and at last the whole group modulo 3 people went out for the first of 4 or 5 buses to the airport. I saw many lonely campers at the bus, without much of a send-off party. So I went around and hugged many people - a neighbor/friend of my Combo 3 class, the extremely athletic Michael who I'm good friends with from the basketball court, Edward, who's in both my classes and a frequent table mate at lunch, Matthew and RJ from basketball, and Yi, my great friend and the first person I talked to this camp. Birdyface, phi and the crew were there so I hugged them...and many others. Of course, at last I hugged Andy (and wishing him of making USAMO next year), Liu and flash12. Of course, there're so many others who I want to say bye to but can't since I'm leaving next... Sorry if I didn't mention you
Then I went back to my dorm and started writing this post. Soon enough, near 7, it was time for Bruce, Hongyi, and I to leave. The RA group once again came, and I hugged goodbye my RA group, with a "I'll see again at MOP" to my roommate, while Daniel and Steven made a heart symbol with their arms. On the bus, I silently sat next to pinetree1, another good friend that I can hopefully see again. At the airport, I got one last pic with Bruce and others, and headed off. Surprisingly, I would line up with him again for security, as well as sit next to him near his gate before boarding. Just then, I suddenly remembered that Liu's plane doesn't board for another 6 hours (LOL the bus schedule organizers), so we called him over.
We waved Bruce goodbye soon enough, so the silent Liu and I wandered to a pasta restaurant where he bought me food. Since Liu is well known to not being penchant for serious conversations, we discussed girls instead. We walked silently across the airport for my gate, but eventually got to a shuttle that leads to my gate, which said "30 seconds to arrive" when we got there. I told Liu this'll be our last 30 s together (most likely) and Liu responded with a smirk full of sexual innuendos as he always does, but deep down I knew he was reluctant to let go. Eventually I got on and eyed him for the longest moment. "Doors closing in 3, 2, 1" and with that countdown marks the last goodbye with the countless fantastic people I met during AMSP. Thank you all, for proving me wrong to think I will always be a stereotypical unapproachable antisocial nerd whom no one appreciates, who doesn't belong anywhere besides a corner of his school's library overseas from the U.S., who lives under a system in which he can't see the light at the end of tunnel. Thank you, AMSP, for giving me the courage to keep running.
In Combo 3, we did the Probabilistic Method, but I was honestly too sentimental for math. I made some jokes with John and eed7573 (darn I didn't get to say goodbye to you two) extremely nice guys I've come to know really well, as well as attempt to look attentive as pinetree1 diligently tries to communicate his progress on the problems to me. Yan and Kiril, the two Europeans, were telling each other jokes. Since we were talking about the usage of darn, here's my two cents:
Me wrote:
What did the fish say when it swam into a wall?
...
Dam.
...
Dam.
Before long, we rushed to Geo 3, and Wolstenhome and Earthwarrior1 presented some of their favorite problems as well as a few magic tricks, one involving cutting a wood pencil with a dollar bill (a trick my roommate fanatically attempted to learn). But I was honestly too sentimental to learn. We had taken pictures the day prior, so we just chilled mostly. I made quite a lot of friends in Geo 3 as well. It was an amazing class, truly.
One unforgettable observation I made at AMSP is the concept of the classes. In school, a class is an obligatory block of time you must devote everyday of your life to in exchange for a grade at the end of each semester that misleadingly leads you to believe it's a piece of your self-worth. Here, a class is a chance to learn something new and better your problem solving skills, to be able to communicate with your peers questions like "Oh wow! How did you motivate this beautiful inversion about this point?" As opposed to "so what do I have to memorize for the test, also, is it summarize or formative." People at AMSP, which is an extremely self-motivated camp, do problems at night for the sake of the math, not for anything else. A test is an opportunity to do interesting problems and test your skills, not a connotation of late-night cramming and forgetting everything immediately afterwards, nor is it a letter on your college transcript that countless students across the nation worship like God.
I ate lunch as normal, Dyang and bguo came over and asked me for access to my blog, which I said was under revision due to some inappropriate content. Then I saw dolphin8pi talk to them, and learned that she (roommate of Angela) has read my blog apparently. REST. IN. PEACE. MY. REPUTATION. IN. FRONT. OF. GIRLS. Sorry dolphin8pi, don't hate me.

After lunch was a quiet time, with me going to Daniel/Bruce, Fishy/Steven's, Liu/Andy's rooms and fooling around, one last time. I attempted to sleep a while in preparation for the all-nighter. I attempted to learn some dance moves from Steven, who taught me a MJ hat trick. Oh well, gotta warm up those dance moves for the dance party. I also got my box (course notes and yearbook and letter).
After dinner, we went back to our rooms, and I attempted to read Steven's Secrets in Inequalities as they packed. I'm the worst organizer, so in attempt to be productive, decided to throw in all my clothes (dirty or clean) into the washer (I was too lazy to sort out the clean shirts)... YOLO. Unfortunately, my shirt was still wet by the time for AMSP photo time, so I stood freezing in the open waiting for the picture. My RA, Iuri, as always, is late and can't be found, while Liu, as always, was nowhere to be seen. At the last second, they both arrived, and we attempted to look muscular in the picture. On the way back, A, B, C all appeared and started talking to Daniel and Liu, the girls' slayer of the group. I couldn't join in to their inside conversations, and... and... just ran away (I've done this quite a few times this camp in front of A, B, C, actually).
Andy then brought up a random number theory AIME problem in the dorm, and my crazy roommate, Fishy, Steven, Andy, and I attempted for a long time before solving it via bash. I was in no mood to hit the paper, cause Steven and I were about to hit the dance floor. My crazy roommate entered nerd mode this point, so Steven and I went to the dance, and upon realizing how awkward and crappy it was, I left with flash12, two of the basketball kids named Henry and Bryan to the gym (it was open for the cheerleading camp, and because no cheerleaders were there, we YOLO). We played for more than half an hour, and we said goodbye to Henry for good, and at around that point 50 cheerleaders stormed into the gym for some activity. We ran for our lives, and after a perilous navigation through the sea of cheerleaders, finally escaped. Back at the dance floor, I first saw a couple (actually the only one) dancing at the side awkwardly, and Yan was swing dancing the heck out of this random girl (he swung dance practically all the girls there). The rest stood awkwardly, and what broke the awkwardness was RA Brendon starting to dance. I joined in the fun, and being the attention-seeker I sometimes am (OOPS

I kept dancing for 2 hours - with people I know, with people I don't. I slow-danced with agbdmrbirdyface and Steven as well as random people. At one point Steven almost killed me by bulldozing his way to 2 decent looking girls and shoving me towards them. I didn't want to die of a heart attack on the spot, so I ran away and watched Steven dance with one of them. 3pro5me.
Nevertheless, I completely tossed away my comfort zone. I felt like dancing was a mean of self-expression like I've never known before. I would've never dreamed of having the self-confidence of dancing in the midst of a crowd like this and not feeling being judged. But this camp has truly bound me with other campers. I realized that these are the kind of people, people who share the same passion as me, who have the same values as me, that I want to hang out with in college.
Eventually at some point the dance was over, and I just stayed behind and said goodbye to some people there such as Yan (thanks for being there from the start when I needed someone to discuss the problems with), Kiril (same, now go make Bulgarian IMO next year!), adik7 (keep geo'ing and balling, stay in contact), Harvard (darn your hugs feel good), Bryan (thanks for balling win me, it was fun for me to guard you all the time), Brian (birdyface, great knowing you, and remember to keep contrib'ing to my other blog!), and many others. The way back, I guess I was still in the clouds, and I was talking to agbdmrbirdyface and someone else. I spotted 3 girls ahead, and thinking I will most likely never see them again after camp ends, decided to YOLO.
Conversation, as verbatim as possible wrote:
Me: Hey girls
Girl 1: Hiii
Girl 2: ...
Girl 3: Hello
My heart: HHHHEEEEEYYYYY BABBBBBEEEESSSSSSSSS WHY CANT WE CUT TO THE CHASE AND YOU JUST BE MY GIRLFRIENDS DAM IT
Me: What're your names?
Girl 1: [Girl 1]
Girl 2: [Girl 2]
Girl 3: [Girl 3]
Me: Oh um, I'm Michael. We should friend each other on Facebook (I had no other things to say...)
Me: So Girl 3 (who has the sweetest voice), where are you from? Shanghai? (She looks Chinese)
Girl 3: Oh
I'm from Beijing.
Me: Are you from ISB? (Int School Beijing)
Girl 3: Yes!
Then we talked about life: we're both rising juniors!
Me: Junior year... APs and SATs and colleges and me trying to make USAMO
Girl 3: Oh cool!
Me: Follows her to her room
Me: See you then.
Girl 3: Baiii
Girl 1: Hiii
Girl 2: ...
Girl 3: Hello
My heart: HHHHEEEEEYYYYY BABBBBBEEEESSSSSSSSS WHY CANT WE CUT TO THE CHASE AND YOU JUST BE MY GIRLFRIENDS DAM IT
Me: What're your names?
Girl 1: [Girl 1]
Girl 2: [Girl 2]
Girl 3: [Girl 3]
Me: Oh um, I'm Michael. We should friend each other on Facebook (I had no other things to say...)
Me: So Girl 3 (who has the sweetest voice), where are you from? Shanghai? (She looks Chinese)
Girl 3: Oh

Me: Are you from ISB? (Int School Beijing)
Girl 3: Yes!
Then we talked about life: we're both rising juniors!
Me: Junior year... APs and SATs and colleges and me trying to make USAMO
Girl 3: Oh cool!
Me: Follows her to her room
Me: See you then.
Girl 3: Baiii
Then I went to check out what the scrubs who didn't go dancing were doing - poker. Then I went downstairs to reflect a bit. Everything's going by so fast, people are already getting ready to leave...
Flash12 and bigboss then appeared and we gave goodbye hugs (though we would see again).
The night appears ready for a party, as the entire RA group got into Daniel's room and Iuri once again snuck out against the rules to buy us food. We proceeded to play truth and dare, which involved discussions of interesting topics: our values and our aspirations, etc. of course, we also gossiped like girls and talked about stuff EXTREMELY RESTRICTED TO GUYS. We exchanged stories and laughs, but at 2 AM the first dreadful moment comes, the departure of Iuri, our amazing RA. Thank you Iuri for your nonstop smile, your dedication to making sure the whole RA group goes to breakfast together everyday, for telling jokes and acting immature, for notifying us of the night watch, for allowing us to sneak in to your room at 12 the night before and having a pizza party, for guarding me on the basketball court and treating me like an equal. Thank you! Iuri gave each person a hug, and that's that...
After some more talk, Steven and Fishy decided to retire for 2 hours. We agreed to send off the next departure, Andy and Liu, at 5 AM together. I stayed in with half of the group in Daniel's room and we semi slept/watched Max cube/talked/watched Nigahiga.
At 4, we snuck flash12 and bigboss into our room, and we chilled. I tuned out of their conversation about colleges, and instead cuddled with Daniel.
I took a shower and at last the whole group modulo 3 people went out for the first of 4 or 5 buses to the airport. I saw many lonely campers at the bus, without much of a send-off party. So I went around and hugged many people - a neighbor/friend of my Combo 3 class, the extremely athletic Michael who I'm good friends with from the basketball court, Edward, who's in both my classes and a frequent table mate at lunch, Matthew and RJ from basketball, and Yi, my great friend and the first person I talked to this camp. Birdyface, phi and the crew were there so I hugged them...and many others. Of course, at last I hugged Andy (and wishing him of making USAMO next year), Liu and flash12. Of course, there're so many others who I want to say bye to but can't since I'm leaving next... Sorry if I didn't mention you

Then I went back to my dorm and started writing this post. Soon enough, near 7, it was time for Bruce, Hongyi, and I to leave. The RA group once again came, and I hugged goodbye my RA group, with a "I'll see again at MOP" to my roommate, while Daniel and Steven made a heart symbol with their arms. On the bus, I silently sat next to pinetree1, another good friend that I can hopefully see again. At the airport, I got one last pic with Bruce and others, and headed off. Surprisingly, I would line up with him again for security, as well as sit next to him near his gate before boarding. Just then, I suddenly remembered that Liu's plane doesn't board for another 6 hours (LOL the bus schedule organizers), so we called him over.
We waved Bruce goodbye soon enough, so the silent Liu and I wandered to a pasta restaurant where he bought me food. Since Liu is well known to not being penchant for serious conversations, we discussed girls instead. We walked silently across the airport for my gate, but eventually got to a shuttle that leads to my gate, which said "30 seconds to arrive" when we got there. I told Liu this'll be our last 30 s together (most likely) and Liu responded with a smirk full of sexual innuendos as he always does, but deep down I knew he was reluctant to let go. Eventually I got on and eyed him for the longest moment. "Doors closing in 3, 2, 1" and with that countdown marks the last goodbye with the countless fantastic people I met during AMSP. Thank you all, for proving me wrong to think I will always be a stereotypical unapproachable antisocial nerd whom no one appreciates, who doesn't belong anywhere besides a corner of his school's library overseas from the U.S., who lives under a system in which he can't see the light at the end of tunnel. Thank you, AMSP, for giving me the courage to keep running.
This post has been edited 4 times. Last edited by shiningsunnyday, Aug 11, 2016, 9:26 PM