So 3 weeks of school of senior year are done. I flew to San Fran last Thursday after school to take the SATs, and wrote this post on the plane ride back to Shanghai. Essentially, after landing in San Fran, I had a 28-hour resting window before the exam begins, half the time of which my mom was beasting in the kitchen and the other half stuffing me with every possible food she can - shrimp, oatmeal, fusion bowl, beef soup, ice cream, corn, yam, walnuts, steamed fish, sea crabs, tuna, salad, chocolate, and all sorts of fruits, aka mom food. After all, I've only met her once or twice per year for the past few years and she was definitely not going to let this window slip by (I ended up gaining 2.5 kg in my weekend there
).
Anyways, hilarious thing: so I woke up (jet lag) about 6 hours before the exam and before I knew it she had down'ed 3 meals into my stomach by the hour we were supposed to leave. Then, despite me having thoroughly scheduled my water intake times for the sake of bladder control during the test, my mom somehow convinced me to drink a big mug of "gluten-free all-organic supermarket-discount-price soybean milk," and by the time the 65-minute countdown for the reading section began, my bladder began reenacting the prison-break scene from Fantastic Baby.
Fortunately, with the painful gritting of teeth and an incredibly-awkward posture I managed to power through the section. The writing and math sections were a breeze so
score predictions.Pessimistic: 1510
Realistic: 1530
Optimistic: 1550
Now... on a completely different note...
random ramblings on KpopAs far as Kpop goes, I officially identify myself as an A.R.M.Y (BTS fanbase) and my bias is Jimin. I'm still a big fan of GD, but after attending his concert in NY a month ago I've realized he, as the theme of the concert goes, is no longer G-Dragon, but Kwon Jiyong (i.e. the stage role he's taken on for all his years performing has been replaced by a more personal side of him). As a result, the theme of the concert was really unexpected to me but nevertheless I was drawn in by his performance (I swear his eyes were closed like 75% of the time).
As I reflect, perhaps that's the fate of all Kpop artists - they take on a role given to them (sometimes forcibly) by big entertainment industries - and buries their own identity under the wrapping paper that is in the form of accessories and spotlights.
Haters will point to their make up, shaved jawlines, or silicon faces. My stance on this has always been the opposite - what haters don't realize is the tremendous amount of sacrifice a teen has to make to enter this path, and when they do succeed, they will have witnessed the loss of so many trainees, perhaps many their closest friends, for only the cream of the crop are given a contract to sign. Everyone else, who might've devoted equal efforts, are out the game. They will have sacrificed relationships, social life, and even their name. Going back to haters, if they think Kpop stars' success are unfair, why don't they go through the process themselves?
how it relates to math contestsIn math contests, we see the same phenomenon - when we're wrapped up in awards and distinctions, others call us "geniuses," sometimes with more derogative terms, without seeing the sacrifices we made. However, I'm not going to call out on haters, because these reactions are more than natural. After all, didn't we have the same response when we started out math competitions and we heard about the IMO team or USAMO winners? One of my dad's colleagues' son recently asked me for math competition advice (he's been doing competitions for 2 years now and haven't qualified for AIME). As I was recommending him all the resources I used, his dad interrupted and declared he doesn't want his son to go too invested in the competition scene, for he thinks trying to go beyond AIME qualification isn't worth it and that his son isn't a "genius."
why do people do this?Really, the psychological basis behind these comments is a self-defense mechanism of either two purposes:
a) We want reciprocation. Think, what is the real purpose of you clicking that like button when your friend posts a random pic of some food he/she ate? (Do you really genuinely feel happy for them that they ate a sushi roll or is there some other reason...)
b) We want to hide our own insecurities. Occasionally, we see in comments things like "You're such a god" or "Legend." The reason we do so is to cope with the fact we haven't achieved success like them (I admit, I've done this many times as well). By bloating others' egos, we play the role of a mob leader, getting others to sympathize with us and in so doing so we hide our insecurities.
Whether you can identify or totally disagree, all I can say is that this is natural thinking that our minds engage in for our own good - so don't worry too much about it.
My point is, after saying all this, is that the least I can do is to be conscious of my judgements whenever as possible, and definitely to not propagate judgements that may end up harming any said person. I strongly believe that sympathy is the solution to all hate in society, so please please take a moment to reflect on how our prejudices have perhaps harmed others in the past, and make a change!
Anyways, enough rambling on my part (after all, my blog is where I can write whatever comes to mind and not have to do spell check or proofreading on). Some updates of senior year:
ClassesSo this year I'm taking:
AP EconInteresting course - though we just got started. Been participating a lot in class. But since the first quiz was 8 hours after I landed back in Shanghai I was practically drunk-navigating my way through it and ended up flunking it (hopefully next time will be better).
AP Physics CVery high-paced. Honestly kind of dislike it since we're already on our second lab - I had expected it to be more problem set based rather than lab based, since traditionally I've been terrible with labs (UPDATE: lab 1 confirmed this).
English 12Incredibly interesting and possibly life-changing - been watching videos on happiness, almost like a self-growth course - my type of tea. Now we're writing an essay on what it takes to attain happiness.
AP Comp Sci AVery easy so far - but an extremely important class so I'm not going to slack.
Advanced High ChineseNice, chill, do some work and learn some interesting bits of my culture. Cool.
3 free periods!Do work on my online course (see more below), get homework done, and also get some other extracurricular work done (see below).
...or just binge watch Kpop.
...and finally...
GOALS FOR SENIOR YEARI'll try to make these as specific as possible.
College goals
- College list: HYPSM, Caltech, Columbia, Brown, UPenn, all UCs
- At most 1 A- this semester
- Go know some teachers better outside of class
- Just got accepted into and am now enrolled in Stanford ULO (University-level Online)'s Integral Multiv. Calc class that can be used as credit in most universities, which I need to get rolling on this weekend. Will take Linear Alg second semester if the course works nicely.
- Have nightly readings on math books - am going to start on Weapons of Math Destruction and/or Math of love per my math teacher's recommendation
- Concurrently read more technical books - hopefully of a more applied/problem-solving nature as opposed to dry college textbooks
- Learn to code - really well
- Be proficient on CSS and Java.
- Earn money from some form of coding or web design
- Launch a major project second semester - like designing an app or building a software.
- Read http://www.futurism.com on a daily basis - fantastic website
- Basically just read a lot - on Mars exploration, quantum physics, entrepreneurship, etc.
- Drop to <70 kg and <12% body fat (was 72.0 kg before this weekend and around 15% body fat right now) and get nice abs.
- Perform at least three Kpop songs on school stage?
- Develop a better sense of humor.
- Be more easygoing in general.
- Stay fashionable.
- Join a season of sports in the year.
- Go to some clubs and learn to party.
- Learn some basic hip-hop/jazz dance.
- Live by myself for 3.5 months until winter break.
- Cook all my own meals and manage my own time.
- Balance my schedule between work, working out, and free time.
- Move in with my dad to my brother's home second semester.
- Teach him to walk and run.
- Teach him Chinese and English.
- Spend as much time with him and my family in second semester - go on a lot of vacations.
This post has been edited 4 times. Last edited by shiningsunnyday, Oct 20, 2017, 9:25 AM
by shiningsunnyday, Sep 1, 2017, 3:47 PM 
May 2018
April 2018