The fact I haven't hugged a girl for 5 years now has really taken a toll on my hormones. Increasingly so every year around spring, my hormones begin bubbling, pushing against the lid that I put into place the summer before freshman year as part of a contract I made with myself, and every year, the situation is getting more desperate.

Last year, I released some of my feelings through my post "I've Finally Done It" (still one of my most popular posts!?). During spring break last year, which I spent by myself in a hotel room in a random resort 30 miles out of Shanghai, I spent every night watching or reading some anime or love stories online just to take my mind off math.

Just today, I caught myself tickling my heart watching videos like this.

Now, as my 17th birthday is right around the corner, I'm beginning to understand a bit why it is that during this time period specifically I have these sorts of feelings. Perhaps it's just the focus vacuum that occurs after math competition season - as the APs come around and teachers are wrapping up teaching the course syllabus and students are given more freedom to yolo/date/make-mistakes. It might also be the senioritis that has overtaken my school - with seniors ditching classes, dating, not paying attention in class, etc. It's hard not being sucked up in your surroundings.

My own dating history has been far from worthy of mention, the closest I got to a girl being a hug (and this was in 6th grade). I'm not sure what kind of toll 5 years of biding my hormones will take on me next year when I come out of my cage. I'm also concerned with my social skills with girls (which is about 5 years premature) - in school, I've always avoided girls as much as I can, at most answering a homework question in a tactful way. In addition, the girls at school seem to hold a bit of a prejudice against me - after all, they're quite convinced I'm already in a relationship with my math problems.

---

This actually brings me to this summer. Ideally, I really wanted to go to SUMaC. With a month in between the start of summer and the program, I could also do a lot of things - learn math, learn something new, get a six-pack, learn to dance, write a book with librian2000, visit colleges, and self-study a guide on how to talk to girls. With a boy-girl ratio of 1:1 at SUMaC, it would also be a nice practical experience for me to exercise my newly-attained theoretical knowledge in the highly esoteric field of boy-girl relationships.

Unfortunately, I got a demoralizing slap in the face with a brutal rejection.

Of course, a huge congrats to my brother-in-arms deathllama9 on getting accepted (he was also my back-up dance partner if two girls are bi and I would otherwise end up partner-less). Unfortunately, we'll have to wait a bit longer before I can meet him in real life.

Nevertheless, fortunately, Ross is a go for me summer 2017!!! 6 weeks of freedom to play with beautiful mathematical ideas with interesting people definitely sounds nice, esp. after hearing great things about it from High, who attended last year. Although the duration is a tad bit too long (darn three-quarters of summer) and the boy-girl ratio a tad bit too high, I hope I can still gain a lot from the experience?

---

On the other hand, USAMO prep is going slightly better - I just completed Yufei Zhao's Cyclic Quads handout and am now working on the problems - it was pretty good, as well as 110 for geo. For alg, I suck so much now I can't close off 105 (had to use hints on some problems), so I kind of rage-quitted and am now just working on some WOOT algebra/number theory problem sets.

I also learned the hard way that taking 5 AP exams is not a good supplement to pursuing extracurricular passions - esp. with the course-work to go along with it. To younger readers - don't do it!

Anyways time to sleep and daydream about my crush now (it's only 10: 30 PM, this is a first...) so I'll have energy tomorrow to fight the world.