Yesterday, I found a random spot in a parking lot near our dorms and rapped Kpop for about an hour.

For times, I felt in complete paradise - the syllables, words, of the romanized lyrics I've been using to rap "Who You - GD" all connected like beads on a string. As a pedestrian passed by the eccentric I was making, I felt defiant, a boat sailing up stream.

Later that night, I ordered some nice and fashionable clothes to upgrade my wardrobe a bit. Awesome (librianthesixpackgod2000 approved, by the way).

However, yesterday wasn't exactly the best. I had been cutting a few days (< 1000 calories) now and the results have been extremely pleasing, so yesterday I took a day off from the gym but ended up going to the restaurant and binge-ate a bit (as in, had two extra bowls of cereal). Then as I was chatting with librian2000 we started out talking about how difficult it is to maintain abs during the school year, which turned into a full-on rant on school, bringing back memories of me ordering street food at 1 AM prior to 4 AM study sessions, using food as my comfort when it was just me against the world.

The thing is, the sails have turned - I feel more confident than ever. To the system of commodity that claims itself to develop students that has entrapped me for the past 3 years, I. am. out.

And I want everyone reading this to rethink this through. Is it worth it to sacrifice who YOU are just to earn high enough honors to get into a good college? Sure, 4 years of hell-bent instruction-following, menial-work grinding might get you into a decent school, but by the time you do part of you have already descended to the graveyard of dreams that will never be brought to fruition.

You see, the reason why I want to go to an elite school used to be just for bragging rights so I can party all I want. After all, all my parents do is talk about how X or Y's kids are at Harvard or got full SAT scores it's hard not to let competition fill in the gaps of your insecurity. However, this is as wrong as one can get. Today, the reason why I want to go to an elite school is to form connections, get resources, and the opportunities to support my grand and ridiculous-sounding ambitions of the future. Any college that I feel doesn't let me to develop myself to be in that position to make the most out of society is a waste of time. Forget the Ivy leagues for a sec, guys, who do you want to be in 10 years, 20 years, 30 years?

"Too far off to think about." "I'm undecided." "I'll just focus on getting good grades so I can get into a good college then think about it." Bull-crap.

This is the drive-home point of this post, because if you don't want to know what you do, then you have fallen poison to what have haunted me for the past few years - school is taking away YOU.

Sorry to sound harsh, but I had to go through a hell ton just to have the credentials to say this. Part of who I want to be is an inspirational figure to encourage people to break the chains. I know every person has something special in them - a talent or an idea, and its half life is only so long before it starts decaying to the point where you can only muse about it. So do it!

P.S: Got a 4-pack, let's get that 6-pack by the end of camp.

P.S 2: Oops the problem sets are actually getting non-trivial now so I should probably be spending more time on it.