Complaining Letter to Principal

Dear Principal,

Roses are Red,
Violets are Blue,
I am flec,
and AT LEAST MAKE THE FOOD GOOD!

Oh hi, Principal.
I’m writing to complain about the DISGUSTING cafeteria food.
I don’t think it is necessary to provide students with disgusting food when they are already being tortured by schoolwork itself.

Ahem. First of all, the cafeteria’s sloppy joes are more like sloppy pig poop. I first thought that it actually WAS pig poop. It’s THAT bad.

Second of all, the cheese tastes like plastic. I thought it was impossible to mess up grilled cheese sandwiches, but I guess not.

And the nachos are messed up. The chips are FA-SCI-NA-TING! Don’t mind me. Sowwy. The chips are moldy and taste like 55-year-old pretzels. The beans look like cat poop, (and tastes like it!) and the cheese is basically 55-year-old yellow paint.

Oh, and the hot dogs. Ohhhhh, I’m getting stomach cramps just THINKING about it! Sorry, I think I’m gonna have explosive diarrhea if I don’t go to the bathroom RIGHT NOW. Now where should I start. The bread is soggy, and the sausage tastes like rabbit skin. Oh. AND AT LEAST GET THE KETCHUP GOOD!!! Just bleh. I have to dump SO much ketchup to get rid of the disgusting taste of the hot dog! And then I have to deal with the disgusting ketchup itself!

I’m very confused. It’s not that hard to make food for about 800 children! Just order 100 pizza boxes from Costco! It’s honestly not that hard!

I’d greatly appreciate it if you did something about this disgusting cafeteria food. I’m usually hungry too, since we have lunch AFTER recess. Well, not hungry. I lose my appetite as soon as I even SEE the food. Anyway, let’s cut to the chase. Just get better food.

Got it? Good. Thanks, principal! Now THAT’S how you do your job!

Having stomach cramps, IJustThrewUpBecauseOfYou