breakup tea / random thoughts about old aops / school / whatever

whoa two entries in 8 days! never thought this would happen for awhile. though there's been times in the distance past where i posted everyday.. ah. good days

so who told me i was really out of shape! core workout yesterday (aka 2 minute plank and a couple dozen pushups and a lot of jumps) and my stomach has me crippled. must be getting abs... jk i'm being delusional

anyway i've doomscrolled for a bit, played chess for a bit, did some homework, drew a little.. so now i get to write a little! i kind of realized how fun blogging is

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start in hot with some tea! (as i'm drinking some)

so a few months ago i wrote about my breakup (the day it happened) and i realized i never left an update. a ton went on and usually i write it on the blog but looking back i was like, no way, i haven't?

long story short he did not really take it well at all.. it was like a straight two weeks of constant arguing until it got angry and he would be saying some things that were... uncalled for to say in the least...

so afterwards (thanks to my middle school bullies for teaching me how to stand up for myself) i blocked him and removed him from my instagram and stuff but before i did that he was like apologizing and telling me that he had something for me and that he hopes one day i see it when the time is right. i don't think too much of this, i'm like "ummm you just called me [this and this], so byeee"

forgot that when we used google docs to communicate after my phone got locked, we named it "AP lang" so that it would look like i was doing homework (oops). so when i was actually trying to do my AP lang homework and clicked on it, woohoo, i got greeted with not 5, not 10, but over 20 pages of straight diss/nostalgia/basically all 5 stages of grief.

okay so that got settled after, then two months after he removes me from the calculus groupchat i'm in with a ton of the calculus students and insults me in front of the whole group when asked why he removed me. so people try to add me back then he removes everyone's admin abilities (the group just had everyone as admin) and turns on join requests so that no one can add me back. thankfully he forgot that there's a group owner who still has admin rights who added me back later but yeah

ok before anyone goes "what did you do that made you say this", 1) we had no problems until i brokeup with him, and 2) boi my husband could cheat on me and i wouldn't write a 20 page diss essay because 1) why would i he cheated on me i aint wasting my energy on it and 2) just escalates stuff anyway. i promise i'm not that mean guys

whole thing again. he later on sent me a huge paragraph that he did all of it because "he loved me" and that "love is beautiful" and that the outcomes weren't his intentions. i told him to stop glazing himself and that someone could be 30 seconds broken up with and still have the decency to not say what he said to another person. i told him i appreciated our relationship but that i really wasn't going to talk things out any further and that i believed in mutual respect even through disagreements and that since he proved he wasn't doing that, he shouldn't talk to me.

haven't talked since.

doing fine, until this stupid stomachache. thing about having a good immune system is, when you actually have some sort of pain, even if it's as mild as a cold, you'll be bedridden for hours

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random thoughts about aops:

i kind of wonder sometimes when i'm on aops what's happening with a lot of the friends i had here a long time ago. it's crazy to think that it's been like 3-5 years now! i can't really log into aops without seeing my friends list. i remember this old friend i used to have on aops and i knew her real name since we were pretty close. now she's not active on aops anymore and i endedup forgetting what her name was, so i can't even try to find her instagram or tiktok or some sort of social media. which is super sad... i hope they're doing well!

crazy how sometimes we don't even know it's the last conversation we're going to have with them. scrolled through some pms and the last message was something like, "ok, see you tomorrow!" or "call you back later", or "ttyl" even. some messages i swear i remember sending just a few months ago, but when i checked back it said "2023" or "2022". insane.

i've been on here, though a little inconsistently at times, through my worst and my best. also insane. i look back and i'm like, dang i was so happy then, then i scroll some more and i'm like oh dang glad i'm not like this anymore

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school, i'm bored so let me rate my aps
ap physics 1: 1/10, the few times i'm actually understanding it and having fun with the dopamine rushes are very rare, teacher can't teach, but we got her to say "fish" instead of "alpha" so i'll give the class a point
ap world history: 9/10, love the teacher so much, love the class and how it teaches you intellectual things, background information, ethics... -1 because dbqs suck
ap lang: 8/10, great class, i love the teacher, but doing discussions makes me mad sometimes. some kid said the purpose of school was to get jobs after reading alexie's superman and me, and period ended right as i was going to snap back with some come back. way to ruin my morning. but i like the class.
ap calc ab: 1/10. one point cuz i like my friends. the teacher isn't my favorite and integrals are also not my favorite and i keep doing integral stuff when i should be doing derivative stuff then do derivative stuff when i should be doing integral stuff but it's not that bad. i just have 0 patience for boring things
advanced team sports: 9/10 because it's only one semester long
cartooning: 1/10 really boring but i'll give it a 1 because i can just do my homework so it's like a study period which i really need
spanish: 2/10 really boring but i love the teacher except for the fact that she makes us put our phones in a little cubby thing for the whole period

expected ap scores:
physics: 3 (if i lock in, maybe 4 or 5) but i will actually turn religious if i manage to get a 5
ap world history: 4 (if the dbq prompt is easy and the mcqs aren't written maliciously, maybe a 5)
calc ab: 5
ap lang: 5 if i don't get distracted during the 3 hour time

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whatever part

i'm lowk losing my passion for volleyball because i have no friends on my team and also because i got on such a good team this year that i feel like i'm outta their league sometimes
but that's ok cuz i got my best friends outside the court!

my teammate had stomach flu, which is like literally my biggest fear atp, and was like "oh it's not as bad as when i had a kidney infection." the way my jaw dropped

we had our mlk assembly in february because of the snow days we had during when the actual assembly was supposed to be. a director of diversity gave this really awesome speech but was yelling into the already loud mic which caused us to suffer in silence for the duration of her speech (20 minutes). also during the assembly somebody screamed "low taper fade" and thats the only thing we remember from it now (except this really good singer who's also in one of my classes and a really good poem)

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good night guys!