for you hopeful people, this isn't a "name reveal". it's a nickname reveal. those are two very different things.
to the sneaky people who clicked details, hahaha get trolled
anyways i'm pretty sure i mentioned that a lot of people call me callie instead of my real name anyways, esp online

moving on to the actual thing:

as a thanksgiving post for my grandma, here are videos/recordings of my piano playing from 2020 and now (nov 2023)

p.s the purpose of this isnt to show improvement because my river flows in you and piano skills literally downgraded since i didn't play it for 3 years and re-learned this in 30 minutes, plus i quit :^).
it's just to uhhhhhh
wait what the frick is the purpose of this idk i think it's for my grandma again (:

kkay aside from the confusion obv it's thanksgiving now and i was going to compile a list of the things i'm grateful for like i did last year, and i was like "hold up that's kind of cringe and cliche don't u think?"

one of the people on my list that i was grateful for was my grandma, because sometimes grandparents literally love you more than your own parents do.
then i realized that almost exactly three years ago, my grandma had been diagnosed with lung cancer and i had played river flows in you for her because i had researched that "music was healing."
(she got better btw )
so i figured i would play it again just to get the vibes of 2020 back and to appreciate my grandma.

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my grandma's favourite is my cousin because unlike me, he is way more affectionate towards her and obviously because he is older now and in college already, he can fly and visit her by himself and buy her things. and because he lived in korea, he saw her way more than she did.
and like many asian grandmothers out there, my grandma is very affectionate and is like, demanding of physical touch + hugs + kisses 24/7 if some people can relate
i don't like that as much as my cousin and she makes it very obvious that she is hurt by that
i also don't visit her as much and only see her once a year or less when i visit korea

2020 was the year i could not visit my grandma due to covid, and that happened to be the year she was diagnosed ;; due to this i remember feeling scared because, although i may not show physical affection with my grandma it doesn't mean i don't love her, of course. i have vague memories of her standing up for me when my mom + i fought and she was always so patient with me. when i was a kid, i spent a lot of time with her and she was actually one of my closest allies.

my grandma inspired me a lot after she recovered. because one of my biggest fears has always been cancer, she showed me that she--even though she is older and weaker than me--can beat it with the attitude and right attention. although i still fear it to this day, i can approach it much better now.

i really doubt i could ever have the same attitude as my grandma under such circumstances though. i would've cried and probably leapt off a bridge instead of facing the challenge with a positive attitude. anyways, although my technological-ability-lacking grandma will probably never see this, grandma--i think i can be up against my cousin for your favourite grandchild! this piece is for me--or us--to remember

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happy thanksgiving.
i hope we all have someone in our lives like this who inspires us like this, even if it isn't the person we're always the closest to.
we need someone like her.

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now for the actual piano part
like i mentioned below i didn't have this piece well memorized anymore because obviously it's been 3 years.
BUTTTTTT what we are looking at here is the eMoTiOnAl improvements

as you can tell my 2020 version was:
- very very very fast, so fast that it could be renamed torrent flows in u instead
- super forte bro i didn't know that quiet sounds existed
-quite aggressive. my grandma probably had to turn down her volume while she listened to it.
i literally cant believe my 12-year-old self held my head up high and was like "she's gonna cry and be overwhelmed with emotion" and now i think she was probably just listening to it on 10 volume and like "oh she improved nice yay"

my new version (disregarding the poor memorization + note mistakes)
- is quieter and feels more like a river instead of fricking niagara falls lol

sorry for the poor quality, and also i had to re-record the last part because my mom started talking SUPER loud while i was recording and u could hear her voice rly well... i was too lazy to record the entire thing again so just rush-recorded the ending before i had to go to thanksgiving dinner. this is why u see the WEVIDEO logo at the top, because i had to edit in the last part LOL. this is also why the ending is SUPER rushed and doesn't have the usual "endings should leave an impact" attitude of mine. also did i mention that i got lazier since 2020?

sorry for talking so much.

2020 :: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1OaY4gbr6_f-CF7DenF37rYFp-3Ou7pEn/view

2023 :: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1zBJn0bKPpGlIgWc-o8pvMnGdirXMJlyZ/view?usp=drivesdk

and for the people wondering, isn't it uncomfortable to play piano with a ring?
and yes, it kind of is. i had to re-record MANY times because the ring kept hitting against the piano keys. but this is the ring my grandma's friend hairstylist gave to me, and i want her to look at it and be like OMG ITS THAT :0

.