Everyone has been asking me why River Flows In You makes me so sad even though they thought it was beautiful. I will be explaining about that here. Please understand that this may not make so much "sense".

Here is why.

The composer of River Flows In You, called Yiruma, wrote the song during his hard times. While going through hard times and great losses. He was able to put in all his "mixed feelings" about everything into his beautiful song. It was like beauty, sadness, strength, and sorrow all mixed into one, and I felt that.

I can also relate to the song. The song is like a small river flowing inside you, whether good or bad. It starts small, gets bigger and bigger, and then fades out. That is kind of like my life... I started with a small soul, then it got bigger. Finally, it faded out after sadness and losses. The song reminds me of the happiness I've gone through, as well as the sad times.

It also reminds me of someone that is now only a memory. And that is myself. I still remember the eight year old me dancing in the sunset, around my loved ones that never hurt me. But sometimes I was the one that hurt myself. "The saddest part of life is when the person who gave you the best memories become a memory." That is how I feel about the song itself.

I listened to it at around the age of nine, the best times. Now hearing the song reminds me of how I was then, but how I am now.

I know that life will make me go through changes. I'm not the best, the smartest, the most beautiful... I'm not even close to reaching those at all. But this song helped me realize that there is a "river of feelings" at all time, and it can flow at any pace, at any time, and at any speed.

My life is unique, and even though it isn't always perfect, I am happy to take it at my own pace.

Happy reading,
flec