i've been experiencing things i've never before, aka tension headaches, crushes (yes an update) and other feelings

kkay first off i randomly get tension headaches throughout the day at the most weird times which is so strange because before high school i never got headaches like at all. i never had a headache before unless i was actually unwell but now i get them on a daily/weekly basis and i'm not happy.

i'm not really the type to take tylenol either because i already overdose on them every month and my mom told me that if i take too much it won't work as well when i get older. anyways that was one thing i wanted to share like whaaat? does everyone experience this or something?

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crush update!

i don't think he likes me anymore :') he doesn't wait for me like he used to or talk to me as much. i think he thinks of me as a friend only now. he used to talk to me nonstop about piano or his art piece or some other thing in his life. he still talks to me sometimes, but it's not like excited fast talking like he used to. it might be because he matured, but i still don't think he likes me. it kinda sucks because back when i felt like he did like me, i wasn't really thinking of a relationship much or even a situationship.

he still thinks of me as a friend definitely though because he still talks to me differently than other people (when i ask a question in class he will look at me from across the room (since we unfortunately sit so far away now) and yell the answer while smiling, that kinda thing) but yeah. with crushes, i really learned to trust the subtle signs over the bigger ones because i do that, too. chances are, if he doesn't wait for me when class ends, if he doesn't keep a conversation, if he doesn't try to be where you are--like i do--he doesn't like me. as much as he talks to me when i'm with him, he doesn't make an effort to be with me. so yeah. zamn

i don't really know how you can get someone to like you when they don't really seem like it. talking has never really worked much for me. kinda sucks because i've had people like me but either 1) i didn't care back then 2) i didn't like them back or 3) they switched schools or something and i never saw them again

i think he's def one of the best guys i've liked but to sum everything my feelings and my expectations and what i think he thinks of me is just ajofwjafoivnawwjiofejoiajfoivnijwefjiljiofwhuwiijoijo

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other feelings: i think the workload is really telling me how unproductive i am. but at the same time i think it's telling me how productive i can be. like it allows me to push myself. physically i'm much more tired, but i feel energized in a way. like more hopeful.

i feel apprehensive for sophomore year when crazy ap classes like ap physics, ap lang, apush, ap world, ap cs will come in, but i don't want to worry about that yet.

just like my friend said today when she wanted to get a second cookie: "i'm gonna die anyway, so why not live happy?"