i always felt like writing was limited, so i thought, maybe change this book project of mine to something more... engaging

i've always loved writing, don't get me wrong, but i felt like writing was something so limiting. it's just words, and sometimes it's hard to look deep into the words. there aren't visuals, there are either none or very few or a lot, but that downgrades the quality in my eyes.

how would we feel if we could see it unfold?

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i wanted to make a movie, film, or documentary for the longest time but this seriously took a hit when i realized that i'm not capable of doing any of this. i hate animation because of how long it takes ;; also since it's just editing over editing over editing x100. i also do not enjoy the process of editing which is basically a whole 50% of making these anyways.

so maybe i could make a like a game. i used to code anyways. to see things through a screen, to experience, to listen to the music. to have control over everything. to be able to see the world with the people you love.

maybe that would be better.

i used to make games using apps like roblox but that kind of stopped when lua coding wasn't familiar (i only did ev3, java, arduino. never lua)
btw if someone is good at lua or something similar i would love for you to pm me so you can teach me a little! i'm good at self-teaching if i'm actually committed but i feel like learning the basics is very important. aka me trying to self teach myself algebra during covid and becoming totally lost when i entered the school ways.

i have to stop saying maybe and get things done and crap.

so yesterday i asked my mom if she would be okay with researching some places where they teach coding. she said she would and she was excited to get me to start cs again since it was something we used to consider when i was younger. it's a step, if you ask me lol.

would i ever go into cs? no. but i feel like writing by itself isn't something that i could go too far with either.

darn it sucks to have one foot somewhere, the other foot somewhere else. incredibly jealous of the people who have had their futures decided since age five. i used to, but not anymore when i realized my passions are scattered. there ain't one job that covers it all...

i like too many things, but never love