i'm so mad about it too i lowkey gotta vent
so we had our game again (tough game, all of our teams freshman, jv, and varsity lost)

but anyways i had practiced my jump float/topspin at home and at school practices too
so this game was the first i actually jump floated/top spinned (i knew how to do it before, but my jump serve looked really floppy and now i fixed it to look really cool >: D)

so obv i asked my coach "hey [coach] canni jump serve today"
and she replied with "whatever you can consistently get over"

i made around 15 serves (one round i got like 8 serves in a row with a lot of them being aces)
and i missed one serve because it went out a little (i was trying to SPOT SERVE thats why i missed it not because i was jump serving)
anyways she started yelling and was like "I TOLD U U COULDNT JUMP SERVE I TOLD U NO"
and i was like "WAIT u told me i could do whatever i could get over" but i couldnt argue with her because the next point was starting

anyways after the game was over
she was like "[flec] you wont listen to me. i told you you couldn't jump serve and you still did it and you cost us a point. its a big problem with our team yall u guys wont listen to me and give me basic respect >:- [flec] i clearly told you no and you still decided to jump serve. that was rly disrespectful or whatever and blahblah"
obviously
i learned many lessons
and i knew to stand up for myself and said "you said whatever i could get over consistently i could do, and i've jumped served in practices ._."
and she IGNORED ME and started complimenting other people, including this one girl who missed 4 serves in a row and then made one and she said "way to bounce back!!" and was mad at me, who made 15, missed one, and tried to try something new WHILE listening to instructions

anyways she proceeded to compliment everyone on the team except me (no joke)
as soon as she dismissed us i left the goddmm gym and burst into tears

was literally so embarrassed because it was in front of everybody and although the parents didnt say anything they were prob like "wth why is she crying is it because they lost"
and NO IT WASNT BECAUSE I LOST ive lost a ton of times before its nothing new
i was crying because the coach fricking YELLED at me for something i didnt do and literally crushed my expectations because i thought she would compliment me since i had one of the most aces this game
for people who dont play sports
its kind of like thinking you did a good job on a test or whatever, and you get a 99 and the teacher yells at you even though it was her error ._. and then she proceeds to compliment everyone else even though you got the highest score

obv i made a mistake
but she clearly said i could do whatever i could get over even my friend was there and confirmed that

also i cry when i get mad so ;-; i was mostly mad this time probably like 10% disappointed 90000% straight up pissed off

anyways sorry for venting ppl who dont play sports were probably like the entire time
i have an ap exam to study for so baibai for now