new year new me ;; let's see if i can fix these traits soon

1) i literally have no idea what this is called but i'll explain it
someone will literally treat me like crap
like they can do the weirdest, most messed up, most eyebrow-raising thing to me
and then they will be nice to me once
and i will be flattered

for example
person: flec ur a b****
flec: ):
person 5 seconds later: nice hit flec!
flec: (:
anyways it can go more extreme but you know what i mean

2) procrastination
this is sadly a trait i am so familiar with
there have been times where i sat down to do homework and wrote entries like this for 3 whole hours and hadn't solved a SINGLE math question
as much as i keep convincing myself i'll do better
i never do
and hopefully i wish i'll have a coming-of-age moment that will help me be productive
and i also hope that this epiphany will not be conveyed through ex: me forgetting about the ap exam and totally failing it
yk
i am praying i will learn my lesson through something that's not serious, although sadly in order for me to learn my lesson what happens has to be extreme
[flashback]
i learned my lesson that you need to take care of your teeth and stop eating 5 lollipops every day after i got four cavities and nearly passed out while getting them filled because of the pain

3) learn how to shut up
because when i'm pissed about something i will not stop thinking and talking and dreaming about it

4) learn how to forgive people
because
if you do something to me
i wont forgive you
and it's kind of a problem because i will make up with that person
and it will be like

friend: hi flec!
flec: still thinking about the time when she talked crap about me 3 years ago even though she said sorry

5) learn how to NOT forgive people

6) like people that are available

7) stop being a complete jerk when you're mad

8) stick to one thing
i will never stick to my word
like i will be like "okay i will finish my project today" and i finish it after two weeks
"i will ace this test after studying so hard" and i cram the day before and get a c
"i will write a new song and actually start singing covers" i just hum it all day and do nothing
"i will learn this new song on guitar" i never do
it is a problem
i am a problem
kkay bye