so in korea i now work with this great coach who’s really passionate and i’ve improved a lot with him
coincidentally he’s also the coach of the high school pros team for girls (which means that it is a team of players who are preparing to go pro in volleyball, called 선수반)
and he told me that i’m at similar skill level as them (they might be a little better than me or i might be a little better than them but still similar) (korea is a little bit behind in volleyball compared to america, so the skill level of high school pro team players are lower than those in america, so it makes sense that i might be mediocre in america but can come to korea and be on the better side)

anyways he told me that next year when i’m in high school (because korea has six years of elementary school, i’m considered a middle schooler in korea even though i’m a high schooler in america (dramatic sob))
BUTTTT he told me that because i live in america, i can’t magically join the team for two months then leave. because these girls train together year-long, it would be kind of weird to have a random person join then leave yk because vball is a team sport.
so he said that if i decide to live in korea for a year or so, he would be happy to take me

me: can i live in korea for a year its super nice here and developed and i could go to international school
mom: no

so i said something around the line of “life is about enjoying it and i think coming here for a year and experiencing a new surrounding would be very beneficial for me” because mom needs formal wording or else she won’t consider it for a second
and she said “i dont give a sh-t about your happiness” no

bro he’s literally such a good coach though like i dont know him well as a person and frankly i think he might hate me because i’m cranky as frick when i make a mistake and also the fact that i had a rly bad stomachache one of our classes and totally flopped PLUS the fact that i get anxiety when i’m playing around people i dont know but anyways we dont talk about that
he acknowledges the fact that i really love volleyball and have a lot of potential in some stuff he just wants me to go to the gym with him so he could torture help me but i’m like wth no bro maybe another time… when i’m not so… busy… aka going to emart and artbox and daiso

but ahhhhh
i would pay to be on his team
well i do have to pay of course but you know… every players dream team exists but its even sadder when you can be on it but you can’t